Siman 201 – Who is honoured with leading the bentching?
The baal habayis can choose whoever he wants to lead the bentching, even to the least important attendee of the meal. The baal habayis can give the honour to any guest or member of his household who will also say the Birkas Baal Habayis because they ate from his bread. (MB1,3)
The requirement for a guest to bless the baal habayis is learned from “…uvayrachta ess Hashem…” – “ess” includes the baal habayis. The nusach of Birkas Baal Habayis is brought in Shulchan Aruch. (ShA1 – BaH3)
If the baal habayis wants to lead the bentching himself and thereby forgo on receiving the Birkas Baal Habayis he may do so. (ShA1)
If there is no – one baal habayis, then there is an order of preference:
A cohen talmid chochom even if not the gadol.
The gadol (if he wishes to give away the honour he may).
An ordinary cohen.
A levi. (ShA1,2 – MB11,13)
Do not honour a person who has a cough to lead the bentching. (MB1)
The mitzva to honour a cohen talmid chochom is d’oraisa learned out from “v’kidashto” and includes the following privileges. (MB13)
Krias HaTorah – first aliya.
Hamotzi – l’hotzi.
Birkas Hamazon – l’hotzi.
Kiddush – l’hotzi.
First drasha.
Offer the first portion of food.
Receiving tzedoka first. Someone who takes the best piece for himself will never see a sign of blessing. (MB13)
If a guest refuses the honour to lead the bentching with a kos – he shortens his life. This is because he is giving up a chance to bless the baal habayis which could have caused the guest a return blessing – now it is a curse. (ShA3 – MB14)
By saying “Horachamon hu yivoraych ess baal habayis ..” it could be a way to avoid a curse. (ShAH14)
You are only obligated to say the Birkas Baal Habayis when bentching al hakos. (MB14)
Try to be the one who leads the bentching, you’ll get rewarded sooner. Even these days that everyone bentches for themselves, it may still apply to the zimun alone. (ShA4 – MB15 – ShaH16) LAWS OF BIRKAS HAPAIROS