Siman 170 – Disciplined Mealtime Conduct

7. No talking during the meal except between servings when you aren’t eating. The food might go down the windpipe. Don’t even say words of Torah or “gezuntheit!”. (ShA 1 – MB 1)
8. The Sh’la says to learn Torah or Mussar at every meal. At least say a chapter of Tehillim. Suggestion: After Hamotzi, say Psalm 23. (MB 1)
9. All those seated at the meal should make sure that some food is left over at the end for the waiter to eat. (ShA 3)
10. It is a lack of derech eretz for a talmid chochom to drink water in front of the public. He should turn away from them. (MB 13)
11. A married woman should drink alcoholic beverages only at home and only when her husband is present. If she usually drinks in the presence of her husband, she may drink a small amount when he is out of the house. (MB 13)
12. Do not stare at another person while he is eating, nor at his portion of food – you might embarrass him. (ShA 4)
13. A guest should do whatever the “master of the house” tells him to do. Exceptions:

1. If he tells you to eat or drink more than your appetite.
2. He tells you to serve him by doing something out of the house.
3. He tells you to do something that your standards of p’rishus from issur do not allow. 

Personal p’rishus standards that aren’t because of worry of direct transgression should be kept private – don’t let them override the wishes of the baal habayis. (ShA 5 – MB 16,17 – BeH “hanichnas”)

14. Any of the adult members of the house are considered the “master of the house” in regard to the above. (ShaT 6)
15. The master of the house should not act strict at the meals – people may feel inhibited from eating. (ShA 6 – MB 18)
16. To eat (or even hold) a piece of bread more than the volume of a k’baitza appears gluttonous. (ShA 7 – MB 19)
17. Drink down your cup of alcoholic beverage in two swigs. If you take only one swig it looks gluttonous (unless you leave some over or it is a very small cup). If you take three or more it appears arrogant (unless it is a very large cup). (ShA 8 – MB 20,22)
18. Whiskey should be drunk in two swigs even though it is a small cup. (ShaH 20)
19. Things that appear gluttonous during the week are allowed on Shabbos because you cherish the seuda of Shabbos. (MB 23)
20. Do not eat in a gluttonous way. For example: Tearing apart the food with your two hands or biting off a piece of food being held in your hand. (Rama 9 – MB 25)
21. It disgusts people when you cut a piece of bread with your teeth and leave it on the table. Even if you swallow the bitten-off part, do not leave the rest on the platter for others. (ShA 10,15 – MB 26,36)
22. Do not take food from your plate before the gadol at the meal takes from his plate. It looks gluttonous. The same applies to fruit being placed in front of everyone. (ShA 12 – MB 28)
23. Cover the table with modesty because of the holy spirit that rests on it. (BaH 12)
24. A guest should not enter and demand food. Once food has been placed before him, he doesn’t need to wait for the hosts to tell him he may eat. (ShA 13 – MB 30)

25. Do not cut bread above a platter of food lest some falls in and makes the food disgusting. (ShA 14 – MB 34)
26. Do not cut meat being held in your hand – it could cut your hand. (MB 34)Do not use bread to wipe the food from a dish unless you will eat the bread. (ShA 14 – MB 35)
27. Do not collect crumbs (from the floor) and put them on the table – it disgusts people. (ShA 15)
28. After you drink from a cup, do not hand it to your friend to drink. He might really be disgusted, but too embarrassed to refuse – your saliva could make him sick. (ShA 16 – MB 37)
29. You shouldn’t drink from a stranger’s cup. He might be sick. (MB 37)
30. It is proper derech eretz for the host himself to give drinks to everyone seated. (MB 39)
31. A guest should not enter late at the end of the meal. The host might not have any food left to serve him. This will cause the host to feel embarrassed. (BeH “orchim”)
32. A talmid chochom should not be seated together with the ignorant unless it is to strengthen a group of mitzva performers at a seuda. (e.g. Gemach banquet). Otherwise, he should be seated alone or with other talmiday chochomim. (ShA 20 – BeH “lo”)
33. You should not eat and drink while standing. When you are finished eating, do not rise right away – you should wait while seated for the amount of time it takes to say the after-beracha. (BaH 16)
34. Do not show joy among the crying. Do not cry among the joyous. Do not sleep among the awake. Do not be awake among the sleeping. Do not sit among the standing and do not stand among the seated. In general – do not be different from your friend and other people.   (BaH 16)
35. After sipping some wine from a cup, wipe where your mouth touched so it will be clean for your friend. If it was water in the cup, you can pour a little water over the rim where your mouth touched to rinse the saliva, but don’t do that to wine – it’s wasting. (ShA 22)
36. Be very careful not to eat the heart of an animal or bird. (MB 45)
37. Eat, with joy, good food which is beneficial for your health. Do not eat just what is sweet for the moment. (MB 45)
38. Wait after a meal before going to sleep. See Rambam (Dayos ch. 4) for more on such conduct. (MB 45)
39. Do not overeat, rather eat and drink with intention to have a strong body to facilitate the soul’s service of Hashem. This way, every meal will be considered a seudas mitzva. See Elya Rabba for more on this subject. (MB 45)